Letter to my 13 year old self.

At this time you’re quite unsure.
Small, quiet and insecure.
You’re tentative of what’s ahead.
These thoughts consume you in your bed.
You care too much about your peers.
Not fitting ins your greatest fear
Sometimes you act quite cruel
Only to appear so cool.
You wish your family would leave you alone
You hide in your room when you are home
One day when they live far away
You’ll miss seeing them every day.

Books and movies have made you think
you really do know everything.
The most important things you’ll ever know
must be experienced for you to grow.
You’ve read all about love and sex
how it happens and what to expect.
You know definitions and the technical terms
But girl you’ve got a lot to learn
You don’t know how it feels to connect
You just know his penis must be erect
You don’t know the bliss of being intertwined
but you do know to giggle at page “69”
You’re still so innocent, you should embrace
But to call you a ‘child’ is the biggest disgrace

Looking in the mirror you hate what you see.
Face full of pimples, hair full of grease.
Body too skinny, forehead too long
The list goes on, and on, and on.
You’re silly child, to hate who you are
Stuffing tissues into your bra
Crying and wishing you could change your form
when only one you has ever been born.
You want to be big, but you’ll always be small
Despite being little you’ll learn to stand tall.
One day though you’ll like your reflection
you’ll know inward beauty is true perfection

Sometimes you imagine if you took your own life
That’d teach mum who gave you some strife
The boy you ‘love’ doesn’t feel the same way
Your friends sometimes laugh at the things you say.
Your sister annoys you, you hate her so much
You’re ugly, no one understands you and so on and such.
Although your problems, at this time seem undue
you think too much about things it is true
You’re a smart child, but you don’t think ahead
How on earth could you wish you were dead.
Hold it out hun, as I’m certain you will
You’re stronger than you realize, climb up that hill.
At 20 years old, I’ve lived through my teens
Problems aren’t always as hard as they seem.
Once you eventually find your way
Things will get better every day.

Reckless

I place this noose around my neck

and give you the rope to hold

This may seem crazy, I confess

But you won't let me go?


I put this knife in your hand

and face you with my back

If you wish, now's your chance

to go on and attack.


I really haven't thought this through

Reckless, on a whim.

My heart is beating in your palm

Be careful with my things

Albany Street (Poem)

Albany street

Out of sight and out of mind

Here I sit upon my ledge

Time stands still in a city that sleeps

The air is filled with the sounds of silence

Hustle and bustle of everyday life

At night all that at once subsides

The odd passer by worn out from their day

Lovers reunite, Hands intertwined.

The trees sway slowly to the rhythm of the breeze

Finally they can enjoy the peace

They see it all, see much more than me.

The wind is sharing their whispered stories

How important am I? How important are we?

No more noticed than a tall dancing tree.

Is being seen in this life what it means to succeed

or shall we to just sway peacefully?

Humans have to get every last word

isn't that really quite absurd?

Who will remember just what you say

once the sky fades slowly to gray?

Every day ends the very same way

Quiet and simple, the night swallows its pray

At the end of your time you will also disappear

The trees will still whisper your name in the air

"Well, shit" (Poem)

Hey, you. You make me smile.
Come lie with me for a while.
Hey, you. I gotta say
I think about you every day.
I'm telling you that I like you
maybe you could like me to?
This is hard to confess
but feels so good to get off my chest.
Anticipate your reply.
Feel so nervous I could die.

"Well, shit"

I frown down at your abrupt text.
Did you forget to send the rest?
What the hell does it even mean?
Most abstract thing I've ever seen.
Is this a display of grief?
Are you thinking I'm a creep?
Maybe your implying I left it too late
If only you hadn't found a new date.
Perhaps I've taken you by surprise
Or you're irritated that I lied
Is this information fresh to you
or is it something you already knew?
Do you need time to reflect
or is this the only response i'll get.
This is not the closure I was after,
meeting you was a disaster.

Secrets (Poem)

Secrets

I wish you'd talk more; you pray I'd talk less.

You hate that I smoke; I loathe how you dress

You think that I'm pretty although you won't say

I'm sorry. Your eyes, they give you away.

I use the word 'cute' to describe things a lot.

You're quick to inform me that 'cute', things are not.

I may over use it at times, I admit.

But you really are cute and not just a bit.

I love holding your hand when no ones around

Sneaking off to bed without making a sound

Secrets are fun and they keep us alive.

When this comes out it may live, it may die.

I am not certain with the way that I feel

But you make me smile a smile that's real.

What started out as a silly drunken kiss

Has turned into something I would surely miss.

Friendship gone stale (Poem)

I used to wish you’d come over less.

Sometimes you’d ring, I wouldn't pick up.

I took you for granted, you were sometimes too much.

I miss feeling smothered by you my love.

I wish you’d call every now and again.

I wish I could still call you my very best friend.

I wish I still believed friendship lasted forever.

If I could do it again I’d make the most of our time

since now I know you won’t always be mine.

You've moved on from our friendship and all that is left

is your voice in my head and a pain in my chest.

Workplace Crush (Poem)

Arrive at the office.
You are there
That cheeky smile
That dark eyed stare.

The same old joke
about English and tea
I can’t help but smile.
Whats wrong with me?

Just for a laugh
Come out for a drink
I know your my boss
But whaddaya think?

Lets paint the town red
or bright shades of green.
We could paint it with love
If you know what I mean.

Knuckles raw from knocking.
My legs ache from walking
My heart is sick of waiting.
So boy lets do some talking.

You can put me in your pocket.
And take me when you leave.
I wear my heart shaped locket.
And a heart upon my sleeve

you’re at the office every morning.
Standing tall and clean
You always greet me with that smile
A smile that makes me dream